Rush Limbaugh Is a Big Fat Idiot (1996) by Al Franken

Author:Al Franken [Franken, Al]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

vote for!

share

active(ly)

lead

change

we/us/our

vision

opportunity

candid(ly)

empower(ment)

challenge

humane

citizen

truth

pristine

activist

moral

liberty

dream

courage

principle(d)

freedom

reform

precious

peace

prosperity

care(ing)

rights

children

listen

proud/pride

family

help

preserve

pro-(issue)

eliminate good time

protect

flag, children,

in prison

incentive

environment

strength

hard work

workfare

fair

common sense

Contrasting Words

Often we search hard for words to define our opponents. Sometimes we are hesitant to use

contrast. Remember that creating a difference helps you. These are powerful words that can

create a clear and easily understood contrast. Apply these to the opponent, their record, pro-

posals, and their party.

decay

radical

status quo

failure(fail)

devour

taxes

collapse(ing)

waste

spend(ing)

deeper

corruption

shame

crisis

incompetent

disgrace

destructive

permissive attitude

punish (poor...)

destroy

impose

bizarre

sick

self-serving

cynicism

pathetic

greed

cheat

lie

ideological

steal

anti-(issue) flag,

liberal

machine

family, child, jobs

they/them

pessimistic

bosses

“compassion” is not

welfare

criminal rights

enough

traitors

corrupt

red tape

hypocrisy

insensitive

Now, in case you’re still a little unclear on how best to make use of these lists, let me

offer the following example.

Let’s say you’re locked in a tight race against Colin Powell. You might want to insert

the following into your stump speech: “Colin Powell is a sick, pathetic, corrupt, incompe-

tent, bizarre, selfish traitor whose incompetent, destructive, shallow, cynical, self-serving

conduct during the Gulf War was a disgrace.” Chances are you’ll see a big change in the

polls!

Or take an example from Newt’s own lips. During the 1990 budget debate in

Congress, Newt criticized Democrats involved in the talks as being “sick, pathetic, liber-

al, incompetent, tax-spending traitors.” Sounds like he sure memorized the list.

Finally, since these words seem to be so successful for the Republicans, I thought I’d

come up with a list of my own. So as a special treat for those of you who wish you could

“talk like Al,” here’s a short list of powerful words and phrases you can use when con-

trasting your normal, healthy-looking body with Rush Limbaugh’s grotesque girth:

lard-ass, lardbutt, tub

fat

porker

of lard

fatso

oinker

thunder thighs

fat-ass

piggly wiggly

obese

fatboy

porcine

chunkster

meat show

flab(by)

Ailes-like

waddle

blubber-butt

balloon butt

wide load

beached whale

cholesterol colony

hippo

two-ton tessie

fatty fatty two by-four

gutbucket

walrus

elephantine

enormous

huge

sow

ten pounds of shit in a

suet-boy

butterball

five-pound bag

soo-eeey!

jelly belly

26

ADVENTURES IN POLITICS

APRIL 23, 1994

I AM BRILLIANT AT THE WHITE HOUSE

CORRESPONDANTS ASSOCIATION DINNER

Of all the social events in Washington, the annual White House Correspondents Asso-

ciation Dinner is probably the largest. About twenty-five hundred Washingtonians, men

and women from the news organizations and their sources, which include congressmen,

high-level bureaucrats, administration officials, and Pentagon bigwigs, put on tuxes and

gowns for an inside-the-Beltway evening of fun. The only thing comparable that I’ve

been to in Hollywood is the Emmys, although the Hollywood crowd is a lot better-look-

ing. The highlight of the dinner is supposed to be the entertainment. And over the years

they’ve had the best. Frank Sinatra, Danny Thomas, Jimmy Durante, Fanny Brice, and

Danny Kaye all performed for President Truman. During the Eisenhower years they had

some tremendous legends: Nat King Cole, Dizzy Gillespie, Bob Hope, James Cagney.

Performing for Jack Kennedy were Barbra Streisand, Benny Goodman, and Duke Elling-

ton. In 1969, at President Nixon’s request, the entertainment was Disneyland’s Golden

Horseshoe Revue.

Since 1983, the entertainment has been a comedian―Mark Russell, Rich Little, Jay

Leno―on the bill with the President of the United States. I went in 1988 as a guest of the

Washington Post and saw President Reagan and his favorite comedian, Yakoff Smirnoff.

Both were very funny, but Reagan was unbelievably good. The man may have tripled our

national debt, but he was a great after-dinner speaker. “I thought the Fourth Estate was

one of Walter Annenberg’s homes.”

It had become my goal after ‘88 to do the Correspondents dinner. Basically, for a co-

median, the gig is comparable to doing a trade show.

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